lessons on pride.

robin, here.

i thought i'd share some of my thoughts in lieu of casey's announcement about our sticking around for a bit more.

in case anyone cared or wondered.

pride is a dangerous thing.

casey and i believe we nearly stepped out of God's will and into a 

potentially hazardousness situation by moving before our house is sold.

the thing that's made this choice so hard {outside} of being prideful,

is our genuine and urgent desire to {go} to manhattan and serve.

we've been considering and praying and seeking counsel on this decision to go for nearly {2 years}now.

needless to say, we are {anxious} to move forward.

so because of this strong desire, we went ahead and set our move date.

a couple of move dates, actually.

we've had {incredible} good bye parties.

multiple tearful goodbye's over the last few weeks.

so when casey came to me yesterday and told me, we're not going yet like we planned, my stomach turned.

and if i'm being totally honest, it's wasn't out of disappointment.

it was out of {pride}.

i started to think, but if we don't go, we'll look foolish.

we'll look flakey.

we'll look uncommitted.

we'll look like we don't have faith in God to provide for us enough income to support a mortgage payment and potential rent payment.

i know, right?  {gross}.

but in His faithfulness, amidst, and even during these thoughts God began to soften my heart with truth.

i felt Him communicating to me, 

"robin.  daughter.  it's My Will, not yours.  it is in your weakness that makes Me stronger. your humility will count for My Glory. let go of this foolish pride.  daughter, let go."  

in this whole 2 year process, my prayer has been that God would be Glorified.

that i would grow, be shaped, and refined.

i wanted this move to ks to reflect my desire to Glorify God.

and i got caught up in glorifying myself.  

look at me.  look at me.  look at me.

i'm sacrificing for Christ.

i'm having big faith to go when our house hasn't sold.

again, let me just say,  BLEH.

deep down, all of those desires {are} things i want for God.

but i got a little wrapped up in them for me as well.

does that make sense?

and that is the last think i want.

i want God's blessing.

so indeed, this was a choice that might make me look or feel foolish.

but i've been brought to my knees in humility.

this is for God's glory.

not mine.

and we'll go when He say's it's time.

The arrogance of man

This project has been under way now for nearly 2 years, and in that time there has been an air of pride in our hearts concerning the decision move to Manhattan for the glory of God.  That somehow this was "our" decision and "our" mission as a family.  And in all this time we forgotten to LISTEN for God and his wisdom in our desire and planning.  Recently, however, He has been shouting at us, and finally gotten our attention.  Through the counsel of a few loving brothers, he has reminded us that his timing and his will is greater than our own.  I mean lets face it, do we really make any decisions outside of his sovereignty?  As time goes on, I am learning that God is truly immovable and it is us who must yield to His will no matter the outcome; and that is the scariest thing about trusting in Him.
Our house has not sold yet, and we really cannot move without that happening.  Our desire to serve Christ in Kansas has not been removed from our hearts but we dont want to make a move without the Lords blessing in every detail.  We pray that an offer comes soon, but we are patient in our hope and ask our brothers and sisters in Christ to pray for the same, but most of all that we would remain in Him and that our hearts would be at peace  in humility.
Moses had a conversation with God in Exodus 33:12-23 about this very thing.  Moses didn't want to make a move without the Lord going with him.  He understood that there could be no success without His blessing and that there would be no glory for God if His hand was not over every detail in their exodus and journey to the promise land.  We are the same, we won't move without God being along with us.
Thank you for all of your prayers and we will continue to keep you all posted on our progress.

{packing essentials}

i, robin, have started packing up different parts of our home.

delaney has decided she wanted to start packing too.

she came up to me and said,

"mom, i've got all i need for kansas."

"oh yeah?" i said.

"yep!  i got all my shoes."

essentials.

she is indeed my daughter.

delaney, with all her shoes packed.