lessons on pride.

robin, here.

i thought i'd share some of my thoughts in lieu of casey's announcement about our sticking around for a bit more.

in case anyone cared or wondered.

pride is a dangerous thing.

casey and i believe we nearly stepped out of God's will and into a 

potentially hazardousness situation by moving before our house is sold.

the thing that's made this choice so hard {outside} of being prideful,

is our genuine and urgent desire to {go} to manhattan and serve.

we've been considering and praying and seeking counsel on this decision to go for nearly {2 years}now.

needless to say, we are {anxious} to move forward.

so because of this strong desire, we went ahead and set our move date.

a couple of move dates, actually.

we've had {incredible} good bye parties.

multiple tearful goodbye's over the last few weeks.

so when casey came to me yesterday and told me, we're not going yet like we planned, my stomach turned.

and if i'm being totally honest, it's wasn't out of disappointment.

it was out of {pride}.

i started to think, but if we don't go, we'll look foolish.

we'll look flakey.

we'll look uncommitted.

we'll look like we don't have faith in God to provide for us enough income to support a mortgage payment and potential rent payment.

i know, right?  {gross}.

but in His faithfulness, amidst, and even during these thoughts God began to soften my heart with truth.

i felt Him communicating to me, 

"robin.  daughter.  it's My Will, not yours.  it is in your weakness that makes Me stronger. your humility will count for My Glory. let go of this foolish pride.  daughter, let go."  

in this whole 2 year process, my prayer has been that God would be Glorified.

that i would grow, be shaped, and refined.

i wanted this move to ks to reflect my desire to Glorify God.

and i got caught up in glorifying myself.  

look at me.  look at me.  look at me.

i'm sacrificing for Christ.

i'm having big faith to go when our house hasn't sold.

again, let me just say,  BLEH.

deep down, all of those desires {are} things i want for God.

but i got a little wrapped up in them for me as well.

does that make sense?

and that is the last think i want.

i want God's blessing.

so indeed, this was a choice that might make me look or feel foolish.

but i've been brought to my knees in humility.

this is for God's glory.

not mine.

and we'll go when He say's it's time.